I don’t mean to brag— but there are so many good things that
I do right that others do so wrong.
In the summer I’m a bicyclist. In the winter, I cross-county ski. I exercise hard, every day. It’s a necessary discipline for decent health. And it is so apparent to everyone.
In the summer I’m a bicyclist. In the winter, I cross-county ski. I exercise hard, every day. It’s a necessary discipline for decent health. And it is so apparent to everyone.
Also, I am a devoted husband, father—and often a devoted
grandfather. I’m not stupid. I know nothing so affects my quality of life as my
quality of relationship with my wife and family. I will do anything for my wife
and most anything for my children, cheerfully and without complaint. That’s the
truth!
Then I read and I think. I don’t just read fluff. I read
hard books that I need to read with a pen so I can focus on what is meaningful
in the book. When I am alone or in bed, I discipline my mind to think through
things. When I am in conversation, I remember to consider and listen carefully.
I pull up the walls of my own viewpoint so I can learn from an array of
different intellects and vantage points.
And I’m a sincere Believer. While I am so aware of my own
lack of holiness, I am deeply moved by the reality and the kindness of our
Father in Heaven.
But here’s the rub: I
judge faster than the twinkling of an eye. That means I look at others, and I
disdain. Then I look at myself and in the same judging fashion, I wonder, “Is that all there is about me?”
So I become anxious and I groan inside myself, “Oh wretched
man that I am, who shall deliver me from this body of death?”
Sometimes I can remember, “For there is therefore no
condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
And sometimes the little chorus goes through my brain:
I love you Lord
And I lift my voice
To worship You, oh my soul rejoice
Take joy my King
In what you hear
May it be a sweet, sweet song
In Your ear
Can it be that the King of the Universe, the Holy One can be so unjudging as to take pleasure in the praise of punks like
myself?